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PART 1
Horses, Journey from Fear to Respect. From a husband's point of view.
The world of horses as a hobby is dominated by women. Yes, this is a generalization. It does not always hold true, but I can confidently say that this is a fact. Two years ago my wife wanted to get a horse. It had always been a dream of hers, and frankly I was beggin for her to get a hobby. I have tons of hobbies, and when I left to do these things she would always be a little irked that I was not spending a little more time with her. Frankly I can't fault her. I do have a lot of hobbies.
So she got her horse, and we saw each other less and less. At first it was great. We were both happy doing what we do, and we made the most of the time we spent together. Eventually, we realized that we would have to meet on some common ground so we were more a part of each others lives. One Huge Problem. I realized horses terrified me. (By the way, she made some concessions as well. Not a ton of wives I know that totally get into Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Battlestar Galactica. But that is a discussion for another time.)
Thing is, I am not a fan of being controlled by anything. This includes fear. So I set out to overcome this irrational feeling. I know a guy named Paul Creviere Jr., the man was deathly afraid of water. He overcame this fear, became scuba certified, and eventually wrote a book called "Wild Gales and Tattered Sails." It is about the shipwrecks of the Great Lakes. Which by the way he explored himself. I can't honestly directly compare my situation with his. I believe his fear was rooted deeper than mine own. Yet his situation did provide me with some small amount of inspiration.
These animals are huge, powerful creatures that seemingly have an unpredictable nature that stems from them being prey animals. Huge, Powerful, Unpredictable. Take all three, and you have a very fearsome and dangerous animal. Thus my fear seemed warranted. But I have motivation, spending quality time with my wife and not completely hating it.
I am dog guy. I love dogs. I have never met a dog I don't understand. I can always tell if a dog is approachable. Does it want to bite me, warn me, love me, lick me? I can just tell. I cant explain how I know what the dog is thinking, I just do. We fear what we don't understand. Through knowledge comes understanding. Through understanding comes trust, and the absence of fear.
I am Capricorn, thus I think in logical terms. Logically speaking, learn everything you can about the horse's language so you can eventually understand it's reactions and the reasons for these reactions.
The process that gets us there is much more complicated.
PART 2
Usually when you are trying to overcome something or learn something new, you always have that "Ah HA" moment. The moment where something suddenly clicks. When this happens, it usually gets you over the hump and on the path to victory. My moment came at a barn where the owners had two great danes in their yard. They were separated off by invisible fencing and some "Beware of Dogs" signs. As we walked up to the barn, they came barreling out of the house, barking and growling, doing their job. The big one (Mighty Joe) was saying "This is my house, don't do anything stupid."
Well, I love dogs, and I grew up with big dogs. When I saw them, I simply had to meet them. So I entered the no fly zone. I know all the rules. I kept my eyes down, I knelt down in an attempt to soften any aggression they may sense, and I let them smell me for several minutes before petting them. It took about 5 minutes before I was rubbing bellies and scratching ears.
Sitting there playing with a couple confident 150 pound predator animals, I took a gander at my wife across the way brushing a 1000 pound slightly nervous prey animal and realized that I can do this. I just had to learn the signals. If I was not afraid of two barking/growling Great Danes, then there is no reason I should fear the horse. So I immersed my self one step at a time.
It started with exposure. Just being around horses, and listening to everything my wife and her trainer (Karen Zoelle) said during lessons. Early on, without doing anything but listening, you would not believe how much I learned. At this time, my wife was just beginning formal training. Thus her lessons started right from the basics, both in riding and handling a horse. Being able to listen at first, without having to do, allowed me grasp some understanding and thus confidence. Slowly I learned to brush, pick hooves, put on a saddle, and even ride a little. The most important part of the early experience was Karen. (disclaimer: so I don't get yelled at, my bride plays the biggest role in all of this as we move forward) I am not sure if Karen did it on purpose, but she kind of hand picked my first experiences and made sure I did not end up in any negative situations.
I am still not sure when it happened, but at some point I suddenly realized I was no longer afraid. I still did not have a lot of confidence, but the paralizing /hand trembling fear was gone. In it's place was a healthy respect for these incredible animals. I had come to understand the similarities and the differences between dogs and horses. (sorry, I always refer back to dogs because it is what I know.) Both animals need strong leaders, but for seemingly different reasons that I am not sure I can easily explain in words. If handled improperly, they are both capable of hurting you. Dogs will do it on purpose, horses will do it on accident, but they have one huge thing in common. Both species will almost always do it out of fear. If you can reduce the fear factor, you greatly reduce the chance of anything bad happening.
Early in my learning experience, I did not fully grasp how important the concept of fear was in horse training. I was so focused on controlling my own fear, that I never fully understood that it was the horses fear that really needed to be quelled. This is a lesson I learned later, when my wife bought her own horse.
PART 3
At this stage, things start to ramp up a bit. It is one thing to be taught how to handle an old, calm, and well trained horse. The stakes were higher when my wife bought a scared, untrained, younger horse. His name is Sequoia. He is half quarter horse, half pony, cute, and kind. But his confidence was shot. He was head shy and jerky. He spooked easily. He had little to no dressage training. I went from thinking I knew how to handle a horse to realizing exactly how much I still had to learn.
Early in his training, Leslie realized she needed help. She turned to Ellie Neerdales, a natural horsemanship trainer here in Green Bay, WI. She began to learn this method of training, and began to use it on Sequoia. She was spending between 5 to 8 nights per week with her horse. (no that was not a typo) About 3 months in she hit her low point. She took Sequoia for his first trailer ride to another stable. If she wanted to be able to show him at some point, he was going to have to get used to traveling. She had all kinds of problems. All the progress she had made with him during the first 3 months just flew right out the window. He was back to spooking, and generally acting a little crazy. A girl at the barn even commented on how bad of a horse he was, and told Leslie she should give up on him and get a new horse. (I am not naming names, but I hope this girl reads this article someday and takes her foot out of her mouth long enough to say I am sorry). That night Leslie was a bit of a wreck. With the amount of hours that she put in she seemed to be at wick's end and possibly ready to cash it in.The next night, she was back at the barn and working as hard as ever. (Did I mention she is slightly stubborn.)
Most of the time, it seems as though a horse's fear is born out of new situations, new sounds, new places. In general, it is the unknown that causes the horse to freak out, and it is impossible to introduce your horse to every possible scenario or sound that may cause this reaction. Since you cannot prevent the scenarios from happening and you cannot fully prepare your horse for every scenario, then what you must do is reduce the level of your horses negative reaction to these events. In my humble opinion there is one way, and only one way to do this. Through TRUST. Trust must be built and earned with a horse. The most important thing in any relationship is trust, and that goes for both people and horses. Each time Sequoia ran into an obstacle, Leslie would break it down with time and trust. So many horse owners just seem to accept certain behavior, and by accepting the behavior they reinforce it.
Sequoia was afraid of the fly spray bottle. Rather than accept his fear, she beat it. She took him in the arena, set the spray bottle on the ground, and made him stand by it and look at it. When he seemed comfortable, she picked up. Not sure why, but as soon as she was holding it, it became a whole new threat. She waited til he calmed down and then made him look at it and smell it again. She then proceeded to rub the bottle all over his body until he was completely comfortable with it, and finally she was able to spray him with it. The process took over an hour, and it had to be repeated several times, but he has no problem with the spray bottle anymore.
Now I realize that most horse owners may not be willing to put in this much time in to get their horse over a fear of a bottle, but what they fail to realize is that this positive reinforcement was a brick in the foundation of the well balanced horse that Sequoia became. The time spent with the spray bottle served to increase the horse's trust in it's owner. He began to realize that she was not going to hurt him. Every time he conquered a fear with her assistance his trust in her would grow, and the time it would take to overcome each obstacle would slowly decrease. His trust has grown to the point where he not only trusts "her" to not hurt him, but to the point where he believes she will protect him.
Now when faced with a new and dangerous lawn chair, he no longer "spooks". His reaction is much more subtle. He looks to his trusted leader and seems to ask, "Should we be scared." And through the simple act of letting him see and smell the obstacle she seems to answer, "There is nothing to be afraid of."
Now that the horse is trained, it is my turn to be trained.
"Lee Geurts" aka Lee Speakin
My Knowledge Sources (bibliography)
* Karen Zoelle - Green Bay, WI Based Dressage Trainer
* Ellie Neerdales - Green Bay, WI Based Natural Horsemanship Trainer
* Danielle Jauquette - Green Bay, WI Based Hunter Jumper Trainer
* And of course my lovely wife, Leslie Heyden
My stories will vary greatly, because my interests vary greatly. My personal hobbies include: Collecting and reading comic books, Sci Fi Books, and Fantasy books. Playing boardgames. Watching geeky movies and TV shows. Both playing and watching sports.
My wife's hobbies, which consequently have also become my hobbies include: Horseback riding, dressage, natural horsemanship, and Orchid Growing.
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Lee "Speakin" Geurts
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